


Falsehood Truth

by Im_The_Doctor (Bofur1)



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Arrogance, Crack Treated Seriously, Dominance, Fables - Freeform, Fairy Tale Retellings, Fluff and Humor, Implied Ugliness, Mid-Canon, One Shot, Power Play, Reading Aloud, Rivalry, Storytelling, Symbolism, Taking Sides, preening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 05:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4126447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bofur1/pseuds/Im_The_Doctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tensions are rising between those who think of themselves as most-attractive mech. Some won't admit it, but they've already taken sides.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falsehood Truth

Hauler did his very best not to startle when he sensed a curious presence peeking over his shoulder.

“What are you reading?” Sunstreaker asked, narrowing his optics at the data pad Hauler was surreptitiously slipping under his forearm.

“Why are you interested?” the ex-Constructicon asked doubtfully. Sunstreaker was famous for his lack of attention on anything other than himself; everyone knew he didn’t have the patience for reading.

Even that aside, he never, _ever_ paid attention to Hauler.

“Someone told me to ask,” Sunstreaker said lightly. “They said I’d be interested, even that I’d be able to relate.”

Hauler’s optics flickered around the room, a hint of suspicion percolating as to the identity of this ‘someone’. He decided to try sparing the Lambo’s pride. “It’s just a simple thing. Falsehood truths.”

“Falsehood truths from Cybertron?” Sunstreaker pressed, even more intrigued now.

“No, from Earth. What we call ‘falsehood truths’, the humans call ‘fairy tales’.”

Coming around Hauler so they could be face to face, Sunstreaker sat across from him and planted his chin in his hands. “What are fairies? Is what you’re reading about fairies?”

Hauler smiled a little. “No, it’s about Earth animals. They speak—”

“I’ve never seen Earth animals speak!” Sunstreaker said in disgust.

“They speak in this story,” Hauler finished, his smile already gone. He may not speak often, but when he did, he greatly disliked being interrupted. In this spirit of annoyance, he decided to go along with the plan already set in motion. “They speak and have personalities.”

“Read it to me then,” Sunstreaker urged. “I wanna hear about it.”

“Oh, you know me,” Hauler sighed with a sheepish smile. “I’m not that big of a conversationalist.”

“So translate it into what might be a Cybertronian version,” Sunstreaker suggested, rolling his optics as though it were the obvious idea. “It might make you feel more comfortable.”

Hauler played hard to get for a few more kliks and then finally nodded. “Alright, I think I know how it might go.” Rebooting his vocalizer, he began, “ _There once was a turbofox and a photovoltaic pussycat. They were resting together after a generous meal_ —”

“Cats and foxes have never gotten along, much less ‘rested together’, much less shared a meal!” Sunstreaker complained, but at Hauler’s sharp look he sighed and gestured for him to continue.

“ _They were resting together after a generous meal and amusing themselves by preening for each other, showing off_ —”

“But you said they were resting. If the meal was so generous, wouldn’t they want to digest before even getting up?”

“— _amusing themselves by preening for each other, showing off their good looks_ ,” Hauler continued, ignoring the question. For the sake of the plan’s success, he edited the words a bit further. “ _The photovoltaic cat was very proud of his glossed, high-tech, golden plating, so he made mocking comments about the appearance of the turbofox, who he thought looked painfully ordinary. He told the turbofox just that, but the_ —”

“The turbofox didn’t have weapons, did he? Because if he did, he ought to shoot the cat,” Sunstreaker remarked.

Hauler’s fingers pressed into the back of the data pad with a creak. “Do you want me to tell you this story or not, Sunstreaker?” Hauler asked, his voice quiet and ominous. “Because if you interrupt me again, I _will_ throw this pad in your face.”

Sunstreaker shrank in his seat, mumbling under his vents, and Hauler nodded curtly, taking that as permission to go on.

“ _The turbofox prided himself on his fine blue armor with its white crest. He knew, even if only in the other’s point of view, that he couldn’t rival the cat in looks. Still he kept up sarcastic comments, just to have fun arguing and practicing his wits. The photovoltaic cat was about to lose his temper, but the turbofox was finished with him_.” Hauler paused, adding just a touch of drama for his own amusement, though he was certain what was to come would be much better. “ _Almost finished with him. As he got up, he said, ‘You might have a shiny coat of paint and nice upgrades, but you’d be much better off if you had more in your processor the way I do. That’s the realest, best kind of beauty._ ”

Hauler looked up from the data pad. Sunstreaker stared at him for a long series of kliks, letting the story sink in.

 _Wait for it_ , Hauler instructed himself. _The cat will lose his temper in five, four, three, and two…_

Leaping to his feet, Sunstreaker balled his fists furiously. “You are going to _pay_ for making me listen to that load of scrap, Mirage!”

Mirage, meanwhile, leaned leisurely against his table with a sly, thin smirk completely worthy of the turbofox he was.


End file.
